Randy Wayne White: Words for a winter day

“As I took my time running back to Dinkin’s Bay, the first smear of daylight hung foglike over Sulphur Wells … then expanded out of the Pine Island tree line; a stratum of gray membrane that, gradually, was streaked with conch pink and violet. Somewhere - over Bimini, maybe; someplace in the Bahamas chain - the sun was wheeling hard around he rim of earth, moving incrementally across the Gulf Stream toward Florida.“

From Captiva, Randy Wayne White.

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Found online

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From www.truckbearingkibble.com

Check out the brilliance, the variety of styles, the cosmic perfection.

Snow Falls, Wind Chills, Winter Blows

Yet another snowfall with associated wind and ice. Here’s a shot of the front yard out in the country after the snow dropped a few days ago. Beyond the trees is the road, also covered in snow, which makes driving in the country so much fun. The driveway is in the open area between the trees. Hard to tell as it’s covered in snow as well. There’s this funny thing about living out in the boondocks - there’s no snowplow coming around to clear the roads. And shoveling out a two-block long drive is not high on my list of things to do.

<> A view of the car with its winter coat. This trusty Saturn survived two horrendous hurricane seasons and Wilma knocking my apartment roof off onto it, all without much more than a few scratches. One winter in St. Louis left me with a cracked windshield and other minor problems. Oh well.

<> From the road (more specifically the mailbox) looking back at the house. Spring is just a few months away… not nearly soon enough.

Bookshelf Flashback

Yet more literary posting for the sake of civilization as we knew it. For those of you unlucky enough to have missed Tim Dorsey’s amazing series of Florida-centric novels, featuring the infamous Serge Storm, you can still run down to your favorite library and find his books featured prominently in the Insane Serial Killer/Hysteria Ensues section.

Not sure if this is his latest in the series, but it was the most recent one I’ve found. In Hurricane Punch Dorsey reunites Serge and his heavily self-medicated pal Coleman for more adventures on the roads of Florida. This time during a fictional hurricane season. The book starts out with a reflection on the seasons of 2004 and 2005, when it seemed there was a storm coming through every other day. The previous seven years saw very little hurricane activity in the state, so everyone was in a state of denial and excessive overdevelopment and overpopulation. Then Charley, Frances, Ivan and Jeanne. Followed the next year by Dennis, Katrina, Rita and Wilma. Katrina of course went on to make world news after it left the state. Wilma came through a week or so later and finished what big sister started in Lauderdale and Palm Beach County.

This particular book brought back major memories for this storm survivor; the winds, the rains, the chaos, the greed, the community spirit, as well as the humidity. You feel like you’re there behind the plywood nailed over the windows.

Dorsey’s main character is unhinged, often violent and possessed with more Florida history and cultural trivia than any library. You find yourself cheering for the murderer, yet able to sleep at night. The books are among the funniest I’ve read in years. Check them out as soon as you can.

The Lou?

Recently I read comments by some civic booster type from the city board of whatever, referring to “The Lou.”

<>My first thought; Lou Dobbs? Lou Fusz Chevrolet? Lou Costello?

<>Eventually it dawned on me. Some genius decided a while ago that the city of St. Louis needed a snappy nickname. Something hip, something cool. Something to bring the cachet of Miami’s SOBE (South Beach) or New York’s SOHO (South of Houston Street.) So they adopted “The Lou.”

<>I think it may have been the rap singer Nelly who referred to “The Lou” as a nickname for the city in a song. I remember thinking “I’ve lived here most of my life. I work with tons of hip, young ad professionals who are all over this type of thing. Who on Earth ever calls this town that?”

<> Personally I can think of few things as moronic as calling your city a name that sounds like Loo - the name for toilets in Britan. Perhaps this civic booster concept will go the way of that great ad campaign years ago encouraging patrons to attend the St. Symphony performances because it’s so “relaxing.”

The Reading Corner Favorite: Rex Libris

My new favorite book among many: Rex Libris. While it’s no Terry Pratchett, it’s pretty damn great stuff. A ‘graphic novel’, or comic for you peons out there.The amazing adventures of a hero librarian. He has a sidekick named Simon out to take over the world, promising his minions “Take what you will. The birdseed is mine!”

Here’s the blurb from the internets:

The astonishing story of the incomparable Rex Libris, Head Librarian at Middleton Public Library, and his unending struggle against the forces of ignorance and darkness. With the aid of an ancient god who lives beneath the library branch, Rex travels to the farthest reaches of the galaxy in search of overdue books. He must confront incredible foes, such as powerful alien warlords who refuse to pay their late fees. Wearing his super thick bottle glasses, and armed with an arsenal of high technology weapons, he strikes fear into recalcitrant borrowers, and can take on virtually any foe from zombies to renegade public-domain literary characters with aplomb.

Yet another great quote of the day…

“My New Year’s Resolution: 1600 x 1200″

Bernie Keating
http://berniekeating.blogspot.com

Quote of the Day

“You get a wonderful view from the point of no return.”

Moist von Lipwig, in Terry Pratchett’s Making Money.

St. Louis

Shown here is a view of the famous St. Louis arch, aka the Gateway Arch located on the Jefferson Expansion Memorial Park, seen from the ramp getting on to the equally infamous Poplar Street Bridge from I-70. The dilapidated warehouse on the right may or may not be one of the original structures of the early St. Louis settlement. I have no idea who is in the oversized SUV taking up so much room on the road in front of me. The overpass between the building and arch is part of the complex of very confusing interchanges that crams four highways into one chaotic bridge to Illinois.

<> I-70, I-40, I-44 and I-55 (sounds like a bingo game, I know) all join in to cross over the mighty Mississippi in a rollicking jumble of lane changes and criss -crossing informational signage; all designed by the state of Illinois to discourage Missouri drivers from getting on to their roads.

A view taken while zipping across the bridge at the customary high speeds while everyone merges wildly from one lane to another to get to where they’re going.

The Arch was built back in the 60’s as a monument to St. Louis’ role in the westward expansion of the early United States. History tells us that the city, founded by French fur traders and their lady friends (bon jour, Madame Soulard), was a popular launching point for settlers crazy enough to roll their wagons west into uncharted territory.

My own family moved to St. Louis around 1966, while the monument was still being constructed. I grew up in the suburbs of the city and then lived in the city proper (not me proper, the city) for many years before running away for a while.

Should you be brave enough to go up in the Arch inside one of the little capsule elevators, you should have an amazing view. I wouldn’t know; I have never mustered the nerve to get in one of these elevator balls for the long trip up. In the museum underground beneath the Arch you can learn all about the city’s history as well as the building of the Arch itself.

As natives we tend to take it for granted. It’s part of our landscape and usually we pay as much attention to it as any large building, though it is a handy landmark for giving directions and figuring out which way is the river. When I worked for a company near Laclede’s Landing (all that remains of the original settlement - the rest was torn down to build the memorial park to the original settlement… you figure it out) I would take a shortcut along the river to lunch and back. I would often see tourists - in one case two Asian gentlemen in business suits standing outside a cab - craning their necks to gawk at the Arch.

Now that I’ve returned to my home town I’ve started noticing it more. Perhaps since I’m living over in Illinois and almost daily cross over the Mississippi to St. Louis. It’s kind of hard to miss. You can see it several miles from the bridge while approaching St. Louis. Sometimes it’s the first thing you see as you come around a bend.

iTunes losing humor

My iTunes (the music system on my trusty computer) keeps updating every so often and I’ve noticed that the list of humor sites under Talk/Spoken Word have been decreasing dramatically. Once upon a time you could click on one of several sites and listen to bits - or entire routines - by comedians. That is where I first discovered the genius Eddie Izzard. It’s also why I was surprised to learn he is a cross-dresser. You don’t notice things like that on radio.

<> Meanwhile the list of progressive or liberal radio sites have been growing. Again, once upon a time, you could listen to AirAmerica and that was almost it. Now the progressive/liberal radio options are increasing as comedy sites decrease. A connection? Hmm, I wonder.

<> Guess I’ll have to rely on YouTube for comedy and stand-up. Now if I can just figure out how to get Fox Radio off my iTunes I’ll be happy.

Rove goes

You do know that his official nickname is Turdblossom, don’t you?

Said nickname was awarded to him by the Nicknamer In Chief, George “Let me make up a name for you, yuk yuk” Bush. The same genius who gave Mr. Brown the clever sobriquet “Brownie.”

I’m not sure, but I believe a turdblossom is another word for cow dung.

Hurricane Flossie??

The people in charge of naming tropical storms, and ultimately hurricanes, must be running out of ideas. I don’t mean to be rude to the Flossie’s out there, but a hurricane by this name brings to mind a blond Jean Harlow character with a high squeaky voice tap dancing her way into the heart of her dimwitted but sincere gangster boyfriend in a 1940’s comedy.

“Golly, Flossie, you’re showing your gams to all the galoots in the club. Here, hold my gat while I light my Lucky.”

<> What’s next? Hurricane Skippy?

Carlos and the chocolate bunny

Easter Sunday got a call from Carlos down in Florida. Originally from Ecuador, turns out he is not that familiar with the U.S. custom of mandatory family dinner involving baked ham (brown sugar and pineapple optional) and veggies. In Ecuador they celebrate the religous holiday in church, then spend the afternoon in the standard fashion. He knew about Easter Egg hunts, but says that in Ecuador, “our bunnies don’t lay eggs.”

<> He sounded pretty laid back about it all until I asked about chocolate rabbits. Turns out that is a sore point with him. He definately feels deprived of several years’ worth of chocolate bunnies.

<> Perhaps I should mail one even though Easter is over. When I described peeps, he found the very idea less than appetizin. Chocolate bunnies, though, he wants.

Quote of the day

“It’s all good until someone starts sweating.”

Brad Fish

Water Bus memories

Some shots of a Fort Lauderdale water bus from a few years ago. These photos were taken on an overcast rainy day (summertime in Florida) so it looks a tad grey outside. The water buses are boats that putter around on the Intracoastal Waterway - the canals that run between the barrier islands (Fort Lauderdale Beach, etc.) and the ‘mainland.’ They pass under the bridges leading in and out of the beach area and are a great way to avoid the major hassles of parking at the beaches.

For a mere $5 ticket, you can ride the water bus all day long. Pay when you get on and collect your ticket stub. You use that each time you get on throughout the day. They pick up passengers at sites along the New River and the Intracoastal. It’s certainly cheaper than feeding the parking meters or parking lot payboxes. Park near one of the pick-up points (the bus stops) and catch a water bus to the beach and the restaurants. It’s really a shame they don’t have service all over Lauderdale. There are canals running all over the area and it would really relieve much of the traffic problems.

<> <>Usually the boats are open on the sides and top so you can enjoy the scenery as you put-put along, but on rainy days they put up covers. I am not really sure what the bee symbolism is all about. On weekends the pilots usually give a spiel telling about the various houses and buildings as you chug by. I’m sure many of the stories are made up, but it’s entertaining. I always recommend the water bus to tourists - not only as a good way to get to the beach but also for a look at how the other half live on the waterfront. The boats pass right by many of the multi-million dollar mansions only accessible by private drives.

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Addys - we won… something

Just heard from Jose, my former boss and current friend in Lauderdale. He entered a bunch of work we did in the Advertising Awards in Lauderdale. He found out we won something, but have to wait til the awards ceremony to find out how many and what won. Unfortunately he can’t make it this weekend, and it’s a bit of a drive for me - 1900 miles more or less. So we will have to wait til Tuesday.

<> I’m thinking it’s probably the Tiffany coffee table book we did for The Flagler Museum in Palm Beach.

Semi-quote of the day

<>”You are the greatest lover I have ever known.”
“Thanks, I practice a lot when I’m alone.”

<>Woody Allen, Love & Death

Just out of curiousity…

How many times do you have to tell Verizon you don’t live in the other side of the country anymore before they get your address changed? Just curious…

Scissor Sisters Give Good Song

The New York glam-rock disco duo that became the southern rock band led by exhibitionist go-go boy with a voice of gold Jake Spears, bear cubBabyDaddy, Ana Matronix, adorable Del Marquis and the other guy - the drummer. What’s his name?

<> I was introduced to this band by Scott and Brad. They have all the fun toys. I’ve been listening to the CD (Scissor Sisters Scissor Sisters - catchy, no?) in the car for some time now. While Laura and Mary are two of their better known songs, I find It Can’t Come Quickly Enough to be a hauntingly beautiful piece with very clever writing. Take Your Mama shows their southern rock roots big time. Return to Oz, the last song on the album, is genius. When they aren’t howling in falsetto, the vocals are amazing. I mean, when was the last time you heard a group that could actually handle harmonies?

Brad has a concert dvd featuring interviews with the band and lots of concert footage as well as music videos. Apparently they are very popular in Britain and Europe right now, gaining ground in the States.

Quote of the day - great writing department

“Its pointlessly grandiose dimensions suggested the pretensions and insecurities of recent riches rather than real power and permanence, an impression strengthened by the large quantity of and low quality of the decorative details, which betrayed a vulgar terror of the unadorned and the asymmetrical.”

From Michael Dibdin’s Cosi Fan Tutti - An Aurelio Zen Mystery.

Stromboli spews

<>According to an online news flash, the volcano on the Italian island of Stromboli is starting to spew lava.

<>Volcano? I thought a stromboli was an entree. Whoops.

Found online: art talk

A critical discussion of a critical work:

Toby Shortz Black Square 1 appears to the casual observer as nothing more than a large black square. The title implies this, with a self-depricating humor that is so typical of the artist, who once observed during a conversation with Tina Baldi at Ferruci’s beach house, “Yes, I do like olives.”

Cows With Guns

Cows With Guns on YouTube. Sing along on the chorus.

Time for friends to be together

Last night Charlie threw a party for his sister, Helen. It wasn’t a birthday party. He called it “A time for friends to be together.” A year ago their father passed away. And the next day, Helen’s partner of several decades died. All around her birthday.

Their mother died several years ago after a long illness and was buried on Charlie’s birthday. So he understood her desire to avoid any birthday parties this year. But he still wanted to do something.

Come? Perche? Quando? In qual modo?

We ran out of coffee the other day. Tommy keeps running on Folgers run through the trusty Mr. Coffeeman machine. I’ve been brewing up - by the cup - variations of espresso from Jay International, the world’s greatest import-without-attitude-or-inflated-price grocery store on Grand Avenue. I figure you keep it strong enough, one cup should do it for you.

But the other day I opened the cabinet to discover the empty cans.

Disaster. Thank God for the Webster Groves McDonalds. Thank you, Mr. Drivethrough Man.