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I’m Allergic To Nature

July 7, 2009

poison-ivyShown above is the very prolific Poison Oak – which apparently grows riot in Southern Illinois and around my Mom’s home. Thanks to my former landscaping gig, I’ve become quite allergic to poison ivy, oak and sumac. I still remember my erstwhile employer, as I returned after a miserable weekend and three lost work days (unpaid) still reeling from the toxic steroids used to rid my system of the poison, remarking, “Oh, it’s a good thing you still have the scars so we know you weren’t faking it!”

Small wonder the turnover at that company was prodigious. Between her appalling lack of social skills and the hazardous conditions to we were exposed. By the time I found a heavy tool to club her brainless head, she had already flitted off to offend others.

A week ago Sunday I must have been exposed to poison oak again. I thought I had also come down with the flu, but now suspect it was my body doing the “Oh, it’s that again! Let’s shut the works down, boys.” when the urushiol toxins began doing the backstroke through my system. It’s now been over a week and the blisters (sorry to be so vivid) have not yet completely left the theater. I’m trying to cope with  ridiculously overpriced poison ivy wash from the drugstore and resisting any steroid treatment. The last time I thought the cure was worse than the disease.

Soon as I’m feeling perky again – or even just human, I’m taking a drum of Roundup around the property and killing anything green. Grass, leaves, trees, you name it. The frogs better watch out.

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